Category: Personal

Stalled

I’m out of practice on doing work. I have a lot of ideas and things I want to do, but I have no discipline. I find it very difficult to focus on any task. I am incredibly quick to move on to something new without having made any significant progress in what I was already doing. I don’t know how to get things done.

I feel like I am trying. It’s hard to say for sure. The thinking and making lists, the planning feel like Doing, but nothing is really getting done. How much time before preparation becomes procrastination?

I try to trick myself. I hate making people wait. I hate owing people. So convincing myself that I owe someone something at a fast-approaching deadline should work. It doesn’t. I can sometimes be moved into action when something I want to do capitalizes on a moment in time that will soon pass, but not always. I don’t know what propels me.

I don’t have the tools and I’m flailing. Trying feels better than not trying, but it still doesn’t feel like Doing. And what I want is to DO SOMETHING.